fear of death

"I just think it's a fear of death. People don't want to be deep, it has to be superficial so it's dressing in armour with black sunglasses, very cool, but not revealing, not thinking. But you know people may misunderstand me but that's OK, I get enough appreciation. But I hope that when Bush leaves people will loosen up a little bit."
-Bjork

can't focus

free expression
discipline
planning

any given individual at any given time will be exhibiting one of the three above.
free expression = not thinking
discipline = proverbial reminders stored in your subconcious
planning = actively taking the fun out of life

i seek to spend my time 60%, 30%, 10%
(instead of 10%, 30%, 60% - which i do now)

the best thoughts

Bankroft Hall - the epitome of my childhood. i revisited only once, and it brought real tears to my eyes. at that time, i visualized the past, and how dream-like it was. and i don't think there has ever been a time so sweet. i keep forgetting it for some reason now. it isn't constant on my thoughts. but randomly, like today, I'll think of Bankroft Hall... there has to be a reason for this.

unfiltered poetry medley

My piece is near me
I fear this won’t last long
Cops arrest me
What did I do wrong?

-
God is the equation for all variables.
-

I grew up in the hood
Where a rat’s life
Is closer to paradise
[‘cause ain’t nobody gonna visit
My domicile
So I got to reconcile]

I may start off slow
But I won’t pass
The finish line like that.
And I will pass the
Finish line, in record
Time! I alone,
On this track.

No peer on earth can seduce her
Her stare is like medusa
She wakes up early like the roosts
To say “day, rise up beneath me”
Feet glossy, eyes rainy and pearl shaped
---

When loren gets even mightier
Than the pen is
Rhinos tear through the flesh
In the stampede
…
The fear has left
Only a mark
Only a mark
Only a mark (that I’m free)

[and we look to the sky
I don’t know why
We look to the sky]

So when the eyes they bleed
And the fears are done
Tears to me are mere epiphanies


“The peace that died”
She died right in front of my eyes
Oh I cried
I cried I cried

And she died right in front of mine eyes
I cried
I cried

"this time of need"

this time of need
when two lovers bleed
the lovers sit
hand in hand
but in silence

MindMapping Revolution

http://imindmap.com

My new schedule - don't forget it!

Monday - Recreation Day
: running/conditioning
: reading/painting
: Capoeira

Tuesday - Jumpstart Day
: hardcore labor

Wednesday - Handle-my-Biz Day
: personal biz development
: Capoeira


Thursday - Launch Day
: finalize hardcore labor


Friday - Event Day
: weekly review
: cleaning/errands
: hang with pals / go somewhere

Saturday - Meditation Day
: be lazy
OR
: try something new/spontaneous
OR
: go hiking/road trip
OR
: paint
OR
: catch up wit fam/close friends
OR
: volunteer
etc.

Sunday - Lazy Day
: do whatever i want

how to use a planner

if you are using a planner, you most likely DON'T want to do the stuff you put in it. AND if you DO, most likely, you are going to forget it. So the rule of thumb is leave everything that is INTERESTING AND MEMORABLE out of your planner. If it is interesting, but not memorable, you need to store it somewhere you won't forget. If it is memorable, but not interesting, it is obviously important -- BUT you need to get it out of your head for sure! However, if it is INTERESTING AND MEMORABLE, you will
1. only taint the experience by putting it in a planner
2. probably ignore the other tasks
3. make your planner scary and crowded

in a perfect world, one wouldn't need a planner

like paper

try to exhibit
the same representation
in front of
and behind one's back
where we don't cross out
with our pens
and don't spitball
from our tongues

loose leaf
like our friends
but with all the lines
in between
scribble across the margin
all the hopes
and the dreams
encrypt them in doodles and
ink blots
of our illegible handwriting
crumple what is sensible
and rewrite unmentionables!

on a new page
we can say it is a new chapter
in our lives
but if we were wise
we'd admit ourselves
a piece of nature
taken from the forest

I promise myself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

- Christian D. Larson

life=

diverging & converging planes of substance
substance= an arbitrary unit, includes the undefinable
to define the undefinable, by definition,
is impossible
except as a single term,
the 'undefinable'
we put meaning into terms
and take meaning out of them
but on what terms?
the duality of human reasoning