tao te ching

道可道，非常道。 (dao (way or path) can be way-ed, not usual ways)
"The Way that can be followed is not the constant Way."
名可名，非常名。 (names can be named, not usual names)
"The Name that can be named is not the constant Name."

commercials

are fun! but they don't last.
they only feed us the need for a newer better commercial 2000 that slices and dices.
and if you act now for a limited time, 'we will throw in' an addiction to nothingness.

go read a book. and you don't have to buy it. get a library card.
both the book and the library card are timeless classics.

the impermanence of emotion

the boundaries of pain all around
all around
step your foot in it
do not hesitate
because when you fall asleep
your head will land on that
little red button
they said never ever to touch
ahhh, the impermanence of emotion

minimalism of time and space

space minimalism is inversely proportional to time minimalism.
have you ever heard anyone say, they are 'maximizing their time'. it means to use less time to get things done. because they feel rushed.
feeling rushed, one must never feel. one must take life slowly.
but yes, space minimalism is inversely proportional to time minimalism.
it takes more time, to use less space. and you use less space, when you take your time.
and this is another key to happiness. or so i believe.

favorite things

you do not need a blog
for your favorite things
you need no notebook
to store them
your favorite things,
you simply remember
your favorite things,
you never forget.

the new awakening (hit it on the nail)

all my life i've been holding on to something
i didn't know what it was
so i've been inclined to let it go
i just needed someone smart enough to convince me
but no one had
until someone smart enough convinced me
to keep it
for what i am holding on to is
emptiness
...
as people walk in and out of my life
and i walk in and out of theirs
and animals, waves and particles
the occurences
whatever and wherever they may appear
everything remains fine
let my passion drive
and care not
nor fear not
the destinations

when you do a handstand your sole is above your head

-- the sole of your feet that is. that's what the hippie told me....
i had set this as a draft, intending to write stuff about me and N's trip to Florida. but i put it off too long and i don't think it will sound so creative anymore... i think i'll get N to explain this one. tbc

back then

when Anthony was talking about the potential of whitespace in painting. i started experimenting in photoshop, free mind and whitespace. the result was "euphoric". i want to play with this style some more. in the large-scale, and also examine, its potential for expression & social commentary.

Bruce Lee made a good point

not word for word, he said that too often, too much emphasis is placed on the exercise, rather than the conditioning needed to undergo that exercise.

it is true. a lot of times there is good advice. and the listener is not optimized to adhere. it is incredibly frustrating for the speaker and the listener, especially when both genuinely acknowledge the great potential of the words, if executed properly.

what keeps the listener with good intent from executing the speaker's actions [or executing the speaker's actions sloppily], when the listener clearly wants to? i believe it is a lack of conditioning. i don't think anything, anything at all, can be done if a person is not conditioned to do it.

therefore, something i just thought about: one who gives advice should not give advice unless they have the means for which a listener can condition him/herself to do the aforementioned actions.

... there is a bliss in being able to do what you want right away. it gives you a short term happiness. things that you really need in life, however, never really happen right away, and one should understand this when giving advice or taking it. and in general, if things mean something deeper to you... then figure out how to condition yourself to be prepared to act and receive in the presence of events.

my biggest problem is living. i do not know how to live. how to balance work and fam, practicality and dreams, death (my own and others), selfishness and selflessness. so currently, i am trying to find the balance between these things. and in my search, i do not know if i would be prepared to accept the answers if i were to find them. that is why i must search and constantly condition myself to be ready.
i do not really know how. i am trying to learn.

something i believe is your conditioning is the routine that replaces routines. if you are conditioned well enough you, you should never have to use your active mind, and at the same time, you should never have to make plans. why? cause proper condition inspires right action. right action that comes from the reflexes. it seems it will lead to an effortless worry-free freedom. a better way to live.

meditation: the best conditioning for life, i think, so far. if i knew how to execute properly. must condition myself for meditation first? aahhh!! or is there another way? formal meditation or keep a meditative lifestyle? perhaps, it shouldn't be taken so seriously. i just want to drink that clear-mindedness everyday before i begin my day.

prayer: a personal prayer. perhaps, it starts with prayer. i dunno. the first step i believe should be simple. is prayer simple? i dunno. perhaps the subject of another blog.

a day: a day is the most important unit of time, i think. one cannot think in a second, a minute is too short, an hour doesn't teach, months and years are great. but there is nothing like a day... i know this seems to go off topic, but perhaps time is a big factor in how you condition yourself. like i mentioned "i just want to drink that clear-mindedness everyday before i begin my day." before i do anything, i want to be mentally prepared for the possibilities. before i eat/brush my teeth. i think that's important. right before i go to sleep too: to prepare for the next day. the rest - let it be. ahh, good point.
[the best time to review our days is at the end of the week.]

curiousity and motivation

it is always interesting when we stumble upon something we cannot categorize. one of three actions is taken: either we get compelled to understand it for ourselves, label it in terms of what we think we know already, or simply deny it. i think. i use a combination of all three in my life. some things i get very curious about, others i can live without. i wonder... if i put all the things i got curious about - past and present, what kind of collage would i create. i'm only talking about the things i was compelled to investigate on my own, not which i was convinced into. i think it would make an interesting project...

on another note...
laziness, why? laziness is very real. and it's one of the most disgusting traits to tolerate within society. most of us do not understand laziness, but we do know this, it is hard as hell to put up with a lazy person. even if that person is you. the problem with laziness is the implication that you have the ability to do something, but you simply don't psychologically. it is frustrating, but to tackle laziness - you have to get to the root of the problem ... which in essence, would fix a lot of your problems as well like diet, honesty, speech, and morals ... etx
-

to my sig other

... to my sig other, what i just want to say is
i go through great lengths to avoid conflicts with you
why shouldn't you do the same?
... and in these recent years, i have observed myself a man
(can't help it really)
and need to be respected by you,
the way a woman respects a man/
and if i cannot have that basically
then we cannot be
i'd rather die a loveless fool
so...
if you love me, let it show
in your own way
and i promise i will notice
though i may not tell you...
i promise i will let them go,
your basic flaws,,,
take off your makeup!
let me witness those bare jaws.
i've known you now so long
and still prefer the bread over the butter
...

the good earth

it is finished, and a good tear runs down my eye.

creativity made simple

everyone is unique and has special skills/abilities. it is easy to see as a child: the things you have skills in are often the things you are naturally inclined to do. it is hard as heck to see as an adult... especially growing up and being trained that you need to perform in one specific manner (what's good for the horse does not work for the manitee); or being trained that what you do is not respectable enough; or being trained that you, personally, are not good or special enough to continue honing your craft.

this is all B.S. and this is the type of brainwash a society built on mass-production feeds a child in his/her formative years.


but i believe creativity never really dies. what makes you creative is the same as what makes you who you are. adults are rarely themselves, it is true. it takes work. you have to peel off the layers of lies that you've been fed as a child, and re-learn yourself from scratch. only after doing this, will your creativity begin to open up and blossom.

you know, it's funny, when i say "it takes work", i really mean "it takes play". but you know what?! play is an adult's work.

a ninja. then a samurai. then a shaolin monk.

i think

of balance, of life as an auto-adjusting machine. of rich, and poor. of spirit and materials. of wet and dry. of force and calm. the ying and yang of the chinese. it's all too familiar for us.
although, there is never really two, as the duality we have come to know so well in western logic. in fact, there is always the infinite.

it is the convergence of our life at certain points that we have come to know ... the probable pattern, the contrast, and then the assumptions (presumptions) based on shared senses. the human mind cannot live in the infinite, that's why we work with two. but certainly this substance, this substance that surrounds us, is infinite.

the scariest, most freagiest movie i've ever seen was

the japanese film, Audition. it freaks me out to this day.

falling off the plqnet

falling off the plqnet for a bit. and the body's a bit weaker. the flesh a little less elastic. it is just like getting older. where all the kids laugh and play. and that's all you see. and you begin to forget your own childhood. and forget your own humanity. sometimes. but it is the little things that remind you. like those little kids that play so freely in the playground. and though nature doesn't appear so much in (your head) anymore, it is fun to see 'the natural' in those tikes. and i've come to the realizaation that with age there is change. and it is easier if you prepare. but it is always more fun when you don't. so with this basic contradiction, one needs a simple plan in life to stay as close to the child. a simple plan that encompasses everything, but always can be enclosed in a simple principle, a simple reminder of sorts. for instance, i have been reminding myself that there should only be "one". and so far, it hasn't been wrong. time can be the only judge of your principle. especially since the basis of life is blindness. we do as much as we can to see the future (us humans), but plain and simple we can't. we do as much to understand the past (us humans), but plain and simple we can't. we humans must learn to accept life as it is. until it's gone.

i used to work alongside this girl

www.tiffanycalvert.com ... she (her work) is inspiring me to paint again.

hey L, part 2

ignore what you think should've been, whatever happens, that is your life.

hey L

the rule is always do only one thing at a time.

i got my yellow and white cord

i have been initiated!

Amazing

i have my own world, and in my own world, there are people who each have their own world. animals, trees, stones too. each have their own world in my world.
as opposed to the common ideology that i am just a subset of one universal world.
when i close my eyes, this is my world.
when i open them, that is my world.
whatever darkness or brightness i see, is limited to my senses.
my notions are limited to what you tell me, my pains, and my joys too.
and it's only through similarities and differences of other things that i can understand them and myself.
Einstein proved the theory of relativity. and somehow i was supposed to learn about Einstein as part of my destiny, to prove my little 'my own world' theory. and this is my world. so whatever i feel has to be true. and whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you, just like glue.

using a pencil

is so cool. one should be allowed to make mistakes. erase, and re-sketch. your ideas, are just that - ideas. the freest form of mind. and as they travel from inward to outside world, the signal picks up noise. so sometimes what comes out doesnt feel quite right. that's why i love my pencil. it never yells at me. it just says, "ok, that's not quite right. let's try again".

batizado notes

1. in a fast fight, do not follow straight kicks with spin kicks directly. they will be slow and predictable. do something in between like step back, esquiva, then kick.
2. absolutely any kick can follow a spin kick, be creative.
3. be mindful of your partner's position at all times, whether you are on your feet, in the air, on your head or your hands, spinning. don't stare, but take quick sharp glances to determine your next move.
4. use your ginga wisely to give fluidity to your movement.
5. when you just buy the game in the roda, take a minute to collect yourself while you ginga. scope your partner's intention. is he/she playful or violent?
6. use fakes. they are pretty.
7. use floreiros. everyone will love you.
8. after a move, slide your foot gracefully back into ginga, unless you know for sure you can slip in another quick move.
9. don't try to memorize your game, Cap is absolutely freestyle.
10. relax your style for the most part. only stress really cool moves for emphasis / style points.
11. unlike other martial arts, the floor is your friend. learn to love the floor.
12. play against a mestre as often as you can: the best way to improve your game.
tbc

standing on the shoulders of giants

more on this later...
but a lot of how we learn in western schools is by starting you off with the terminology or language commonly associated with a subject. you know, same way a dictionary is structured: word, then definition.
but the way the subject was learned was by experience, a reoccurence of patterns. something had to happen to make someone pause, and say, "hey what's that called... i definately should remember this"...
i definately don't feel like we should get caught up in language and terminology before we know what something is for ourselves. experience first, name things after. use the name to communicate / and keep a nickname too, for yourself to remember / pronounce how you like

Mestre Bimba founded Capoeira Regional

lists

- not gonna remember it 10 seconds from now.
- keeping related things close together.
- throwing away as much as poss.
- divide and conquer: break it down.
- chew, before speaking.
- don't like to start and stop.
- mess gets forgotten.
- fell in love with beauty.
- many many undiscovered things...

Meetup.com

sucketh!

i wanna

just say that what i want, ahh, is taking a lot more time to figure out... like like like like when we were kids what we wanted was immediate and fun. direct. but i dont wanna the same things i wanted as a kid. i mean the standard G.I. Joe was awesome! an icecream cone from Mr. Softy, when i saw one, was awesome! and i was happy.... i guess what i wanted was momentary and spontaneous. i think i wanted the spontaneity more than anything else. yes, that's it. and i think that's what i wanna now. not just spontaneity, but believable spontaneity... not like a seven-winged mouse swooping down from the sky.. but you know a simple, fun change every now and then.

well, let me end by saying that i hate the words: institution, sermon, lecture, preach.
i love the words: temple, silence, poem, and pasture.

go fly a kite

let the birds see it
let them know you are alive
and that your spirit still flies

blood and gore

mann, how wussy is a cold?!

imagine a great barbaric warrior in the middle of a battlefield, coughing and sneezing delicately. achoo! i'm a wuss.

been thinking

after being lapped by a man with a baby stroller, i asked him what his secret was? he said he didn't know, he just got into a "rhythm". ahh, the runner's rhythm... the runner's high... the second wind... so much spirit in running.

more so, i like the nifty terms to describe things we all feel. the best ones are like 2-3 words max, and have a sweet ring to it. so, i say i wanna keep running to get that runner's high. and everyone immediately understands me.

rhar rhar, like a dungeon dragon

first i'd like to thank you people, for all the support. my blog is a blooming success. thanks to your efforts and my ad-sense, my blog has earned a whopping $1.39... keep it up guys, and it will certainly mean an early retirement for me. hehe. i love you all.

well, let me first say that all this time i've had writer's block. bbut , there has been a lot on my mind that i don't want to talk about. and think it would be good to write it down. it's all very scientific in nature. so stay tuned, maybe i'll say some of it here.

yeah, whatever, i don;t really care what you think

i think i got it. my premordiality. all the pieces of the puzzles are starting to fit into place, you see. my race. my face. my times. these lines i keep writing. i got TO keep fighting. i got TO keep fighting.

grow my hair like samson till it reach moon. never groomed, roaming the earth with no mirror. (my looks will eventually wither.)you see, i need not a spouse, nor a house. judging me. so sick of society. society keeps trying me. and making me feel inferior. but as shure as there is a heaven, and all the missspellings (i make in my esse), i'm gonna find a way. to just be free.

to just be free
to just be free
no more society judging me
to just be free
to just be free
no more society judging me
TO JUST BE FREE
TO JUST BE FREE
NO MORE SOCIETY JUDGING ME
TO JUST BE FREE!
TO JUST BE FREE!!
NO MORE SOCIETY!!!


hey! Hey! no more competitions. on whose better. it's all the differences that makes us similar. all the tiny little things we do. like growing my fro. you growing your money tree. i'm gonna find a way for us. to just be free.

tech advice

technology is interesting. because working on it can teach you how to live, but relying on it may be exactly how you don't want to live. let me explain. what drives technology is a need, or at the very least, an inconvenience. it sparks curiousity and creativity to think up unique ideas and ways to use nature. Then there is the initial failure that comes with trying things that have never been tested. This teaches you a rare discipline and patience. Then finally executing your strategy succesfully, gives you a confidence and a determination like no other. These are great qualities. On the other hand, the user of your product is given something immediately to play with, dulling their curiousity. It may do everything for them, making them lazy... or worse takes away their job, killing their confidence :) ... so with these positive and negative effects, it is hard to say whether i am for or against technological advancement(?)... fine art is interesting. like that which is placed in museums. it can be like technology, in the sense, of being every bit as innovative... and challenging to the creator, as well. pushing their hearts and minds to enormous depths; giving them unique gifts and lessons about life and nature in the process. as far as what it does to the receiver of the product is different, however. in a way, the viewer isn't given something "functional". they can't take it home / try it on / it won't do their work for them. it requires THEM to work. it requires them to think and feel, in a very trying meditative way. it is SHARING. it gives them some of the gifts that the creator had recieved.

why it's fun to raise kids

man, hilarious:

is fast food economical?

why does wendy's have in the back , a huge container labeled "Recycled Kitchen Grease"... i wonder.

too many things

i know from experience i should avoid too many things, but i can't really help it. after starving, you tend to eat a little bit more i presume. sometimes to the point of gluttony. i always feel bad when i eat too much. or spend too much. or make too many appointments. and as much as i watch myself fall into traps over and over again, i feel like i still make a lot of the same mistakes. the problem is i do not have a good solution... a large part of it IS curiousity. and i feel curiousity leads to creativity leads to exploration leads to enjoyment. that is all good, but when do you stop? it is not fair that you hear a huge rumbling in your stomach when you are hungry, and only a tiny little voice in your head that says "hey maybe you should stop", when you are over-eating... as animals who have gained dulled senses over the years, i feel we need good alert systems to tell us when to discontinue things, and when to move on. and i mean in all aspects of life...

lyrics by Ben Folds Five

I feel like a quote out of context
With holding the rest
So I can be for you what you want to see
I got the gestures and sounds
Got the timing down
Its uncanny, yeah
Youd think it was me
Do you think I should take a class
To lose my southern accent?
Did I make me up
Or make the face til it stuck?
I do the best imitation of myself.

The problem with you speech
You gave me was fine
I liked the theories about
My little stage
And I swore I was listening
But I started drifting
Around the part about me
Acting my age
And now if its all the same
Ive people to entertain
I juggle one handed
Do some magic tricks and
The best imitation of myself

Maybe Im thinking
Myself in a hole
Wondering who I am
When I ought to know
Straighten up now
Time to go
Fool somebody else
Fool somebody else

Last night I was
East with them
And west within
Trying to be for you
What you want to see
But I cant help it
With you the good and bad
Comes through
Dont want you hanging out
With no one but me
Now if its all the same
It comes from the same place
And if my minds somewhere else
You wont be able to tell
I do the best imitation of myself
Yes its uncanny to see
Youd really think it was me
The best imtitation of myself
Do the best imitation of myself

don't worry

there is nothing to worry about. 'cause as life continues there will always be something to blog about. always something going on, always some issue, always some adventure. life stays busy like that. so learn not to worry about it. it is just a test. just a test akin to those things they used to give you in grade school. those things that matter little to you now (now that you are grown and understand how to count).

if your mind still has control over your soul. then beat it into submission, through diet, meditation, and exercise. seek guidance from God. though not necessarily in that order.

i'm not desperate but something (definately) is missing.

sitting here on all my chairs
one eye closed , still no tears
i wish they would come
get it out already
the pain shoots up and down
like a gun sometimes ,
but only the numbness' steady

i wish i could diagnose this sickness
i wish i could diagnose this sickness

half-asleep watching what
i used to call my favorite movie sometime ago
it rings a bell
i don't think it is my favorite now
but if you put the pieces together
it tells a story of
what i must have been

i have been places before
far and away
near and close by
i see many people
billions
they all repeat with basic patterns
and so i merge them by the stereotypes

and that has been enough for me to get me by
it is only a few times, i actually stop
and say why
and then again

i wish the world would stop spinning
i wish the world would stop spinning
on its axis
for a bit, to explain this

i'm a little confused
this world
my world? our world?
which one is this?

i haven't found the reason to be pissed or be angry
or be sad or content
it's only the numbness steady

...and in the back of my mind
i remember my old neighborhood
but it is where i am now
that seems to stick the most


...trying to forget
but still i remember
all the things i still
can;t remember...

nothing like piccachu

two (three, four, infinity) names

got a new name yesterday: Pirata, cause of my new style of covering half of my right eye (and the whole right side of my face) with my green and black (Nvidia) head wrap. Ana managed to pull it down on my face when we played the game. During class, Mestre scolded me, jokingly... he said something like, "you need two, three, four eyes in the roda, not just one". in any case, i am always proud to gain a new name.

actions without a cause is the only true freedom

good and bad. write or wrong? i'd rather right. thank you. nevermind. um... lot's of strange behaviour has been going on. i've been spending my saturdays at Prospect Park. heard a feint sound today while walking: it was a man sitting by himself playing a congo drum. seemed so free. i went up to him and asked him what kind of drum it was and how long he was playing. he said 10 years. i gave a look of admiration. told him i was interested in playing. he said every sunday like 3-5pm there are drum sessions on Ocean ave. wow. i left that man to his instrument and walked away some more... walked through some more bushes only to see a man in his blanket making weird gyrating motions. i thought only in new york (brooklyn), and just kept it moving. i walked through this path with tree cover, reminded me of some hikes i've been on (i really love this park). came across some kids skipping rocks by the lake. 1 or 2 times was the most they could do. some father figure pops out and shows em how it's done. he said you gotta do it sideways + you need a good rock. he flung one - and it skipped...1,2, 3, 4,5,6 infinity. i thought to myself wow. if only they made jobs for rock-skippers. this guy has a real talent.... afterwards, was looking for a quiet spot to practice my floreiros. couldn't find one. so i settled for a little grove of land where another father figure was teaching a boy soccer. i practiced the S-dobrado and the macaco. pretty soon, i see the father figure and the mother figure (she came later) on their heads, practicing headstands. little did they know, i was not doing yoga. hehe. i ran away, so as to look artsy... and went home finally. that day i had only ran 3.4 miles (earlier). but last week i must've ran like 5.5, feeling like a failure, cause i didn't see the finishing landmark i set, and ended up starting another lap (wondering why the places looked the same - i just thought the park was made of deja vu)... but i didn't finish that lap.

now i feel pretty good about the whole thing.

words or not words

"if you think i'll let you pull me down to your third class communication, and bulldoze over all my sensitivities, you've read me all wrong... sod off"

Meetup.com

it's a beautiful thing.

Knowing God is the only blessing.

it is a bad idea to get so wrapped up in my ambitions, and forget the whole meaning behind my existence.

do you watch tv

mmmmtv
history, bravo! discovery
IFCartoon dis-nickelodeonetwork
abcnbc fix news,
warna brotha

yo this girl called me

she said i'm back in style.

and the music

keeps coming and guess why i'm listening. it's obviously to null the boredom. to lull the anxiety. and create anticipation for a better tomorrow. but if the song isn't right, it fills my head.. with noise. and sinks my heart deeper in sorrow. quite a danger. i just need the goood stuff... otherwise, i should be meditating.

trapped in the closet addiction

i think it is official that whatever r. kelly is sniffin', i'm on it too. for watching 19 episodes of his 'trapped in the closet' series.

what is good for me outside is good for me in the house

is actually what the title of my blog is. but they won't let me write that much. before i start to bore you with my problems, let me just say that whatever i say is not really the point of writing. the reason i write is precisely because of the side effects created from what i don't say. in that, i took a minute to think. perhaps, i don't know why. why would i think to make such an incoherent sentence. um, an overall theme perhaps is onward movement. free flow, and not looking back. no need to correct things when you speak from the soul. you are always in first draft. and it is what you do in life is the result. so this this this is some sort of play. i used this three times. it's not gonna matter. is it?